at least once every couple of months I still think about the time my old coworker said I was an extremely serious person and she’d never once heard me make a joke, and apart from that not being true at all I just kept thinking about a few days prior when I’d told this same coworker “my brain actually doesn’t have any wrinkles, it’s actually perfectly smooth and round like a beach ball”
Today I accidentally knocked a monarch caterpillar off its leaf and it fell and immediately began oozing green liquid. I was devastated. I thought I’d killed it. Turns out they do that on purpose to defend against predators. Fooled by a fat little worm. Irrecoverable
sucking myself like that damn hornyboros or whatever. does anyine wanna kill me
Charles van den Eycken - Happier Than a Prince (1916)
If I say “aww look at the birds” n you say “they’re just sparrows” I’m killing you. Find beauty in nature or else.
im in so much physical pain i might died
disgusting evil bastard muscle
the stingray
if your boyfriend starts acting up it’s probably because in the wild he would be dying in a war. try attacking him for some great natural enrichment